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Joke of the Day

"""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"" *Hitler rubs chin* So mine less [Grammar Nazi busts in] ""MINE FEWER"" [Hitler looks up] Yes?"

"Why was the dolphin happy and the shark depressed? The sharks life lacked porpoise."

"How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it? With a monkey wrench."

"Black History Month Bake Sale Vanilla Cupcakes: $1 Colored Cupcakes: 3/5th of $1"

"We're sorry, the number you have dialed... 911 has been changed to a non-published number. Please make a note of it."

"A blind guy walks into the kitchen.... ...and picks up a cheese grater. Runs his fingers up and down the grater: ""who the f*ck wrote these stupid things?"""

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It drove down the road and turned into a field"

"Why did the Pharaoh Build a Statue of Himself? Because he Sphinx he's the best."

"whenever my mom criticizes me i yell ""it's probably genetic"" and run out of the room as fast as i can"

"I refuse to dance to any song that tells me how to dance in the lyrics"