157282

Joke of the Day

"I was tanning on the beach with my son. After a while, he looked at me and said, ""You're look like a lobster."" ""Uh oh, do I need some sun tan lotion?"" I asked. He said, ""No, you're just really ugly."""

Next Joke
 
"What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline."
"What cloud is so lazy because it will not get up? -Fog"
"When I get caught smoking in a restaurant, I pretend I'm blind and tell them the cigarette is my seeing eye dog."
"Hillary Clinton made a joke about her own hair Clinton jokes: The hair is real, the color isn't - CNN"
"Why don't lobsters share? They're shellfish."
"If Han Solo were Mexican... We'd have Juan Solo"
"What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction? You rub them the wrong way"
"Being married is a lot like being a DJ... Most nights you just tune out All noise and nod your head..."
"(fairly gosh darn NSFW) Yeah, so, I'm a necrophiliac, right... .....I *had* a girlfriend, but the rotten cunt split on me."