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Joke of the Day

"They changed something in the matrix... and now all the eigenvalues are wrong."

"What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market? Hello ladies."

"Me: how long are you gonna sit there picking your nose? I tried to be polite but this is absurd Potato Head: I want to look good on my date"

"James May... James might..."

"Thinking about opening up a sperm bank in New Jersey. Gonna call it: ""Get a load of this guy over here!""."

"What do the iPhone 5 and Viagra have in common? They're both $700 for an extra inch!"

"94% of my workout regimen is reading things online that make me so angry I shake"

"DATING TIP: add Free Wi-Fi' to your dating profile"

"Turns out telling a friend ""you're giving off a weird vibe tonight"" is not the most direct way to tell them they're on fire"

"I don't know why some people are so against jokes about the Nazi's They kill in the Jewish communities"