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Joke of the Day
"94% of my workout regimen is reading things online that make me so angry I shake"
Next Joke
"[Car dealership] Me: *taps glove box* How 'bout this one? Salesman: Sir, we've been over this, I don't know how many McNuggets it will hold."
"UPDATE: They just released the time when Cecil the lion was shot. Tooth hurty"
"What's the difference between chemistry and cooking? In chemistry, you should never lick the spoon."
"Why did 11 eat 12? Cuz 12, 13, 14"
"My computer has been running slow lately... I tried restoring the computer and still no luck. I finally decided to paint the computer black and it ran so much faster."
"44 of my Facebook friends changed their profile pictures. My life is fucking insane."
"MIGRATING BIRDS Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter? A: It's too far to walk."
"*throws plate of Kraft Mac and Cheese at wall* I TOLD YOU I CAN'T EAT SPICY FOOD"
"An old Vermonter is sitting on his porch. A New Yorker is passing by and stops to chat. He asks the old timer, ""Have you lived here all your life."" ""Not yet."""