200812

Joke of the Day

"What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market? Hello ladies."

"I tried suing Amtrak for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case."

"My teen yelled at me for not waking her up for school. She's in the shower & I'm wondering when she realizes it's Sunday. This is beautiful."

"Role playing is fun, but I'm starting to wonder why my girlfriend will only let me dress up as my brother Randy."

"I lost my job at the suicide hotline. Apparently reverse psychology isn't very well accepted."

"Q: What's the ultimate embarrassment for a blonde? A: When her ben-wa balls set off the airport metal detector."

"Two sausages in a pan; one says to the other ""It's hot in here isn't it?"" ...the other one turns round and says ""FUCK ME! A talking sausage!"""

"911: What's your emergency? ""I put the Ford in affordable housing."" 911: Are you flirting? ""No I crashed into some apartments. SEND HELP"""

"What makes light beer and having sex on a canoe essentially the same thing? They are both fucking close to water."

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day.. Light a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."