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Joke of the Day

"*george washington shows up to the club to party* you got i.d.?' *george pulls out a quarter* you're in'"""

"Why are these Facebook status updates so much more interesting than usual? Oh, because this isn't Facebook - it's a mattress label. My bad."

"Teacher : Give me a sentence with the words defence defeat and detail in it. Pupil : When a horse jumps over defence defeat go before detail !"

"Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman? A: ""Do you smell carrot?"""

"RIP Jordin Sparks She had no air"

"I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say, ""I would do anything for love."" On the back, ""But I won't do that."""

"What do they call Bro Chads in the U.K.? ......Bloke chaps. Play me off Johnny!"

"In his new book of poems, John Ashbery rhymes ""coagulate"" with ""indeed."" It's like he's not even trying."

"A horse walks into a pub and the bartender says, ""hey we've got a drink named after you"". The horse responded, ""what, Eric, really""?"

"When you're on a diet everything smells like cookies. Except the guy beside me on the city bus. He smells like sardines Delicious sardines"