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Joke of the Day

"A horse walks into a pub and the bartender says, ""hey we've got a drink named after you"". The horse responded, ""what, Eric, really""?"

"When asked why he swallowed so much jizz, Rod Stewart would only say: ""My heart can't tell me no"""

"My Jewish mate has been with his Tourette's suffering girlfriend for years now. I always wondered what kept them together. Then I saw the swear jar."

"If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted while writing a paper; Id be making money in a weird ass way, man. ~Mitch"

"My friend got a job fastening metal plates together. He hates it. He says it's not fun or interesting, which I dont understand. I think his job is riveting."

"What do I have in common with neutrinos ? We're both constantly penetrating your mom"

"Dave drowned So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. It's what he would have wanted. (Gary Delaney)"

"after decades of advertising, all we want is to feel authentic desire"

"Q: How did a blind man meet his wife? A: On a blind date!"

"because yoda was in charge of the jokes why was the punchline in the title"