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Joke of the Day

"What did Zach De La Rocha bring home from the beach? A pocket full of shells."

"It isn't until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would've been a better option."

"Just played Uno with my Mexican co-workers... ...they stole all the green cards."

"[Toothpaste Laboratory] Dentist 1: Yes Dentist 2: Yes Dentist 3: Yes Dentist 4: Yes Dentist 5: Not so fast..."

"I was nervous leaving my ex in the backyard with my wife. I'll put a patio on them later."

"CIA DIRECTOR: if u take this deep undercover assignment, u will have to give up ur own name forever STUART GIGGLEDICK: not an issue, sir"

"Him: Come check out my church! Me: Him: They play rock music! Me: Him: It's cool! Me: Does it have church in it? Him: Yes... Me: *click*"

"New clothing store seen at local Mall named 'Off Topic'. Apparently it's aimed at edgy teens with ADHD."

"I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger and then it hit me."

"Imagine if the Indians gave the pilgrims a donkey... Then we'd all get a little ass for thanksgiving."