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Joke of the Day

"Just played Uno with my Mexican co-workers... ...they stole all the green cards."

"What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes? A bite-time story."

"What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach? Flop-Flops :)"

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flys like a banana."

"Internet Explorer is the best browser... to download another browser."

"I've been on Ashley Madison for over a year now. About time I got fucked."

"Imagine being 5 minutes from the end of the longest movie ever & it starts over because it forgot something. That's my kid telling a story."

"Why can't the average white girl pass Math? Because she can't even."

"I love my ribcage. It is very close to my heart."

"TIL that Harriet Tubman sought a monthly pension of $25 a month for services in the civil war ,but was only awarded $20. 100+ years later we're still only giving her a $20."