54757

Joke of the Day

"CIA DIRECTOR: if u take this deep undercover assignment, u will have to give up ur own name forever STUART GIGGLEDICK: not an issue, sir"

"""Gunman"" is too cool-sounding. Can we start calling them something that conveys weakness, like ""pistoleer?"""

"I got a job at an orange juice factory I couldn't concentrate so I was canned"

"My dog keeps trying to get my attention but until he plays that Sarah McLachlan song I'm not gonna take him seriously."

"What do gay horses eat? Horse cock."

"""I hate being half bicycle, half motorcycle"" he moped"

"you think there'd be a word for 'sleeping bag' that isn't a placeholder description of what it is"

"Genie: I'll give you more wishes, I feel bad for you Me: [with 3 ice cream cones on the ground] That's very nice of you"

"Go into a bathroom stall and write: ""For A Good Time Call Your Mother. She Misses You & Enjoys Hearing Your Voice."""

"If you leave your house with one leg, that's going out on a limb."