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Joke of the Day

"Who invented King Arthur's round table ? Sir Circumference !"

"Here's how I gained 27Ibs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying."

"Monica Lewinski Will Not Vote for Hillary Clinton The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth."

"There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my girlfriend when she has the hiccups."

"Your girl may be jealous of the time you spend on your phone. To be fair, it has 4G and she only has one, and it's hard to find its signal"

"What kind of ideas do blind people get? Brailleant ones. Sauce: Am blind."

"I told my friends that I'm going for a date with a gorgeous girl, and they teased me that she's imaginary. Joke's on them, they are too."

"Magician: ""Think of a card."" Me: ""Okay."" Magician: ""You are thinking of the.. 3 OF SPADES!"" Me: ""I was thinking about a get well soon card."""

"one time a friend asked me ""how are you still single?!"" and the list of reasons is still compiling in my head"

"I know one more duck joke! Santa Clause to the snow man: give me the carrot or I am going to blow dry you! (Ok, this one doesn't work in english)"