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Joke of the Day

"""Remember that man you met for 5 seconds when you were 2 months old? Let me catch you up on his medical history"" -my relatives"

"You know what jokes are the worst? Lesbian jokes. Those are for pussies."

"What did one orphan say to the other? ""Robin, get in the Batmobile."""

"Stephen Hawking is an inspiration He's earned millions in the past 10 years without lifting a finger."

"What do you tell a Jew with a tattoo? Nothing, you already told his grandparents 6 million times"

"My love for shampoo is unconditioner."

"An interesting twist on a classic. (x-post /r4chan) http://i.imgur.com/UvBlxDK.png"

"You have to sit up to drink coffee in bed. I know that now."

"I paid a fish to come over to re-key my guitar, piano and drums. He was a professional tuna."

"I was going to post a Michael Brown joke.. ..but I'm afraid it would just get shot down."