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Joke of the Day

"What did one orphan say to the other? ""Robin, get in the Batmobile."""

"[1st day as police officer] PARTNER: THAT CAR FLEW BY DOING 126 MPH! LET'S ROLL! ME: Um, ok, but I literally JUST got this ice cream cone."

"Staples is attempting a hostile takeover of its rival Office Depot. Office Depot has retaliated by snapping rubber bands at Staples."

"Hey I figured out why they call it BENGAY! Cause love is hard on the knees!"

"Friday!!! I'm so glad you are back. I'm sorry you had to see me with Monday-Thursday, but I swear I was thinking of you the whole time."

"I just found out what ballerinas call their dresses. I just put two and two together."

"The GOP candidates are competing to win over Scott Walker supporters after he pulled out of the race... But all three of them remain undecided still."

"A lot of the parents at my kids' school don't really seem into sharing a laugh about the inescapability of death."

"Two guys walk into a bar.... And the 2nd guy goes, ""I didn't see it either."""

"My daughters weren't paying attention to me, so I told them Taylor Swift died."