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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him? A: Get bent!"

"""Dave's coming for dinner tonight."" ""Dave from work or Dave who misquotes Disney...?"" [from outside] ""...hakuna banana."""

"Whats the best thing about having sex with a pregnant woman? You get pussy and head at the same time."

"every time i see a fat, bald, goateed dude in public i get excited for a split second thinking it's Louis CK"

"What do you call a pirate with no friends? Ginger Beard"

"Humans are made up of 70% water so next time you're thirsty just eat Jeff from accounting."

"How do you tune a fish? With its scales!"

"My niece guessed the capital of Montana is Hannah, and I had to give it to her because as far as I know that's correct"

"Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn, playing with her puddin' Oops. I thought I was searching redtube. Sorry 'bout that."

"There are two types of people in this world: Those that can extrapolate information"