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Joke of the Day
"How did the math teacher solve her constipation problem? She worked it out with a pencil."
Next Joke
"[first date] Her: I love your scent, what is it? Me: desperation."
"I had to make a sign for the International Haiku club: International Haiku appreciation Conference meeting"
"What does Bill Cosby have in common with Santa? They both come while you sleep"
"I once farted in an Apple Store... I once farted in an Apple Store. They got mad at me and I said it's your fault, you don't have windows"
"very productive day today, turd-wise"
"How to capture an elephant step 1 dig a hole. step 2 fill the hole with ash. step 3 surround it with peas. step 4 when the elephant comes to take a pea, you kick it in the ash hole!"
"I'm old enough to remember when it was rude and weird NOT to leave a message."
"What do you call someone who worships Doritos? A chip monk."
"What is the first thing you feel when you shoot a baby with a gun? Recoil"