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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot? Pretzalcoatl"

"People always say I make things sound sexual but I try not to pry them open and force my thick throbbing opinion down inside them."

"The St Louis Rams are moving to Los Angeles... And Im too lazy to move out of my parents house"

"What does a spider want to be when he grows up? (This is really good guys...brace yourselves..........) A web designer."

"I could have sworn I heard a chorus of a thousand tiny voices rising up from the shower drain to wish me a Happy Fathers Day."

"I'd like to thank my skeletal system for all the support its given me over the years."

"I saw a hot dog vendor today... She was good looking, but I don't really want a dog."

"A Scotsman walks into a bar.. ..the Welshman, Northern Irishman and the Englishman were meant to tag along but they went to the Euros."

"I've been working with NASCAR on redesigning the track for more variety, but it's tough I just can't seem to get it right"

"What do you call a 90 year old man who can still masturbate? Miracle Whip."