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Joke of the Day

"What is the one thing you can't say even on the internet? [removed]"

"Need to build an Ark? I Noah man..."

"If Microsoft ever makes a product that doesn't suck... ...it'll be a vacuum!"

"Mexico Olympic Team Joke Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic swimming team? Their best swimmers are all in American waters."

"What did the dog bring to party? Wooffies!"

"So a homeless man comes up to us... ""If I tell you a funny joke, would you pay me a quarter?"" My pal from Rhode Island say in a thick northeastern accent: ""I gotta funny joke fo' yah... Yah homeless."""

"One day she says ""Treat me like a princess,"" the next she's pissed that I married her off in exchange for an alliance with Spain. Women..."

"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire, I noticed your cat. Sorry!"

"12: ""Why don't girls like playing dodgeball?"" Because we don't like getting hit by balls. 12: *giggles for 5 minutes* You are so my child"

"""Your present is too big and weirdly shaped to wrap. Oh! What if I buried it in the yard?!"" -me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no."