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Joke of the Day

"It's kind of annoying that my wife said something about glistening but when I asked her to repeat it she just got mad."

"Biden: We need theme music when we walk into a room Obama: Joe be professional Biden: STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON, CRAZY MOTHER- #BidenMemes"

"No plastic surgeon will help me! I have really giant hands and I'd like to make them smaller, but every time I ask the doctor for a hand-job I get kicked out."

"Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!"

"I wish more religions took advantage of a vow of silence."

"What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke"

"Ketchup bottle farts are just as funny as people farts."

"Comment your best recent THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID Jokes of recent life situations"

"What did the zoo employee say to the big cat? ""Why you always lion?"""

"I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week."