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Joke of the Day

"Before you judge somebody, you should walk a mile in their shoes.. That way you're a mile away from them, and you have their shoes."

"I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again. I didn't get pulled over or anything, I just showed up to work 20 minutes early."

"What has 5 teeth and 60 eyes? A bus full of old people"

"Why doesn't the United States have to worry about a North Korean nuclear missile attack? we have the Iron Giant"

"Appearing to be productive at work requires more effort than actually being productive."

"What did one the left headphone say to the right headphone as they walked through a haunted house? This place feels earie."

"What's the cheapest meat to buy? Deer balls. They're under a buck."

"I was having dinner with a snowman... The other day I was having dinner with a snowman, and he says ""Am I crazy, or does it smell like carrots in here?"""

"My truck is a lot like Tony Romo. It will turn over, but the clutch doesn't work."

"Today I went to the convenience store to pick up some condoms. When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked ""Would you like a bag?"" I replied ""No, she's not that ugly"""