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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about the condition that causes your penis to ejaculate when submerged in water? It comes in waves."

"Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and smell bad."

"""I bet you I can get people to buy the shirt from a game they don't even know how to play."" -Ralph Lauren"

"I visited my friend in his flat He told me to make myself at home. So I kicked him out. I hate having visitors"

"Proper diaper fitting If the baby's legs turn blue, it's too tight, if they turn brown, it's too loose."

"A girl told me she liked teasing So we went into the bedroom and I told her that she had a weird, misshapen nose and she suddenly started crying. Women and their mixed messages."

"Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle."

"How many ears does Spock have? Three, a left ear, right ear, and a Final Frontier."

"""Ugh I sent so many drunk carrier pigeons last night"" -medieval millennials"

"What do you call a cop who doesn't shoot innocent black people? 1. Acquitted 2. Fired, retired or expired"