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Joke of the Day
"""Ugh I sent so many drunk carrier pigeons last night"" -medieval millennials"
Next Joke
"Lincoln cars can't turn left. They're all right, all right, all riiiggghhht"
"Don't you hate when you are reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles?"
"What is Ronald Reagan's favourite vegetable? James Brady."
"What do you call a well rounded, very intelligent gay man? A homogeneous homo genius!"
"Lying on my bed struggling to squeeze into jeans The dog comes in to show emotional support ... followed by the cat, who came to judge."
"What is Mozart doing right now? De-composing"
"Clothes are such a fraught gift because it's like: ""Here's the size and shape I think you are and so how I think you should style yourself!"""
"Wayne Rooney said he wants to be a manager after he retires ""Burger King or McDonalds"" was his response when asked where."
"I've never used the dust pan I once bought... It's been collecting dust in the closet for years."