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Joke of the Day

"what do you call it when Batman skips church? a Christian Bale"

"The USA should invade the USA and win the hearts and minds of the population by building roads, bridges and putting locals to work."

"Governors that use foursquare probably get really angry when they become mayor of something."

"Twitter mobile app is still showing stars not hearts so I'm going to stay on here like those violinists at the end of Titanic."

"What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches? The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts."

"God doesn't close a door without opening a window. God's house must be drafty as fuck."

"What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!"

"TIFU by reading a TIFU I forgot they're always horrible. Tl;dr: TIFU = bad"

"I have a big business on kids and murders. They all love my ferrets."

"Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen."