196712

Joke of the Day

"God doesn't close a door without opening a window. God's house must be drafty as fuck."

"My wife has this really weird fetish... She likes to dress up as herself and then act like a fucking bitch all the time."

"Fun Fact: Jared Fogle was a Mormon I heard he graduated top of his class at Bring Em Young University"

"If ADHD is heritable, is it therefore energenetic?"

"What's the difference between a penis and a sleeping bag? One you crawl in and the other crawls in you."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bridget ! Bridget who ? Bridget the end of the world !"

"I suspected my marriage was in trouble when I'd meet my husband for dinner then we would both race home to make out with the babysitter."

"Maybe if I swallow enough magnets I'll become attractive."

"Fully clothed mom just waded into the pool to grab her devil spawn child that was ignoring her. She's my new favorite."

"A helicopter I know was really frustrated after trying to grow his facial hair out His beard was Apache one"