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Joke of the Day

"I named my eraser Confidence... Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make."

"A new source of electricity is found! Lincoln is is infinitely rolling in his grave right now. We can use that somehow."

"""Mom, I'm here to make your boobs big."" - smiling 3 yr old comes out of garage with a bike pump."

"Did you hear about the Irish monster who went to night school to learn to read in the dark?"

"What was Aladdin called after he went Vegan? Saladdin."

"Q: What were the unauthorized protestors guilty of doing? A: Marching banned."

"I'm a hard core Trekkie except instead of Star Trek, alcohol."

"Why don't Rooster's wear underwear? Because their pecker's on their face"

"What's green, has 6 legs and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table..."

"95% of parenting is using your sock as a mop."