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Joke of the Day

"""Hey, we're wearing the same shoes,"" I say to a teenager, ruining her day."

"Why did Hitler lose World War II? Because his Reich exceeded his grasp."

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because when she reaches 69, she gets a frog in her throat."

"You haven't texted me since you went to bed. Are we ok?"

"Do you know why Trump's name is on all of his buildings? So the banks know which ones to take back! Ha cha cha!!"

"If you meet someone who believes obesity is genetic, there is a 100% chance they've consumed a #3 at McDonald's in the past 24 hours."

"Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag."

"A neutron walks into a bar... ...and asks ""how much for a drink?"" The bartender replies ""For you, no charge."""

"Is Kevin Bacon popular on Reddit? ""Yes"" :p Or also ""Yes she is"" (yes cheese) Just made it up, I can't stop laughing, thought I'd share..."

"I just call everyone viewers...... so I won't mistake their gender."