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Joke of the Day

"If you meet someone who believes obesity is genetic, there is a 100% chance they've consumed a #3 at McDonald's in the past 24 hours."

"I think I know why the black iPhone is completely faster than my white one. I am also very racist."

"You know what's not right? Left"

"A lot of people say they're ""real"" as if it's some sort of redeeming quality. Try not being an asshole. How's that for real?"

"No, really, you should definitely reblog fifty more versions of that ""Keep Calm and Carry On"" poster."

"Have you heard the new hipster joke? Yea, I have it on vinyl."

"Okay kids, always remember: you are what you eat So eat loads of sweets and pass on those vegetables"

"What kind of tree smells like bacon? (Original?) A Porcupine!"

"I'd never snoop through my girlfriend's phone out of love, a deep respect and the inability to crack her password."

"Where does a cow go when he is so upset he doesn't feel like talking? A moo'd specialist."