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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a man who opens the car door for you? A chauffeur."
Next Joke
"A good sign that you're not ready for children is if you cut your food with a credit card."
"I just don't understand these dirty cocktail names anymore... ...what on earth is a Penis Collider?"
"""If you're pregnant you can't get pregnant, the same goes for getting arrested, can you lick this?"" I ask, trying to roll a joint in cuffs."
"How did the barber win the race? He knew a **short cut!** ^I'm ^sorry"
"If breaking a mirror brings 7 years of bad luck, does breaking a lightbulb bring 7 years of bad ideas?"
"Wife: He's always rewriting the past.. Therapist: is this true? Me: [doesn't hear because I'm typing 'Shrek killed Hitler' into Wikipedia]"
"(Misogynist Joke #4) - My girlfriend complains about how painful her period cramps are... I reminded her that's her fault for being a woman."
"Why did the blind fly starve to death?? Because he couldn't see shit"
"There's a fox in our garden! I mean a real fox, not a sexy person! Although, I am also now in the garden. There are two foxes in our garden!"