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Joke of the Day

"According to a new study, the number of car crashes linked to marijuana has risen. Fortunately, when the cars crashed they were all going eight miles per hour."

"I had such a great masturbation session last night... that when I woke up in the morning my dick was in the kitchen cooking breakfast."

"I couldn't figure out why my data wasn't coming out like my classmate's, until I realized I dropped a square root in the formula. I put it back in and re-plotted the data. I saw a radical change."

"Putting random stuff in peoples carts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYmoaJoyZTo"

"Things we can't say by color. Things a white person can't say: The ""N"" Word. Things a black person can say: ""Thanks for the warning officer."""

"A pirate walks into a bar... He has a ship's wheel right on his crotch. The bartender asks: ""What's the wheel for?"" The pirate reply's: ""ARRRRRGH, It's drivin' me nuts!"""

"Why don't mathematicians ever get blackout drunk? They know their limits."

"I would walk 500 miles just to be the man who gets to eat these donuts."

"The past, the present & the future walk into a bar. It was tense."

"What's the difference between a teabag and the English rugby team? A teabag stays in the cup longer..."