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Joke of the Day
"my doctor told me to watch my drinking and so i bought some mirrors"
Next Joke
"Throwing burgers around furniture because I have a hunch that termites only eat wood because they have not tried anything tastier."
"Funny Book Title Thread! I'll start: ""How To Get The Most Out Of Your Bank Heists"" by Fillmore Sacks"
"My girlfriend was crying because she had gum in her hair. I told her to cut it out."
"Cremation My last chance at a smoking hot body"
"Barista: ""Welcome to Starbucks!"" Me: ""Large coffee please."" B: ""It's venti!"" Me: ""Then close all the windows after you get my large coffee."""
"Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire? Because they can only semi retire."
"The other day me and my transgender mate Dave saw a bundle of mosquitoes eating several trout..... Dave asked - ""How did they get them ?"" I said - "" fly fishing"" and yes he is transgender."
"I just downloaded more RAM... ...but I still can't play No Man's Sky."
"What's brown, and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre"