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Joke of the Day

"How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it? Just another reason to teach your cat to read."

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"Why does the fat chick give the best blowjobs? She closes her eyes and imagines she's having cordon bleu."
"too poor for whole foods too ugly for walmart"
"I drank tequila in a cave... ...it was a shot in the dark"
"How much is the price of sex in New Zealand? About $20 a kilo."
"Today Happy fathers day kids"
"Did you hear about the guy who fell asleep during The Force Awakens? The theater was too Darth."
"The downside of DVR is getting freaked out by tornado warnings from four days ago"
"Only and only when a mosquito lands on your balls do you realize there are some problems that can be solved without violence :)"
"Knock Knock. Who's There? Not Comcast."