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Joke of the Day

"I drank tequila in a cave... ...it was a shot in the dark"

"Heard this on NPR- Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off? He's all right though."

"God: thou shall not kill Me: but my coworker whistles all day God: still no Me: he says ciao instead of goodbye God: do what you have to"

"I'm too old to still be ""getting too old for this."" I've arrived."

"What is Michelle Obama's favorite vegetable? Baraccoli"

"Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia? The airport is Snowden"

"If you are religious, then you should not wear underwear. It is holey."

"So I went to the mattress store and tried laying on one of the Temper-Pedic mattresses. I was impressed."

"What do you call someone aroused by shopping? A buysexual"

"Mandy was applying for a summer job. 'How old are you?' asked the owner of the store. 'I'm twelve years old Sir' answered Mandy. 'And what do you expect to be when you grow up ?' 'Twenty one Sir.'"