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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about that vampire that's never tasted blood? It's a little irony"

"LION: Lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep. SHEEP: Shaun thinks your mane looks ridiculous. LION: *upset* Shaun said that?"

"Doctor asked his patient... A doctor asked his patient: Do you speak when you're sleeping? -No, I speak when the others are sleeping. I'm a teacher."

"*tree falls in the forest* *tree pretends to start jogging so it doesn't look like an idiot*"

"A Jewish boy needs $20 So he asks his father. Son: Papa, could I have twenty bucks please? Father: Ten bucks!? Whaddya need five bucks for!?"

"Asking a girl to the barbecue. Me: ""You going to the barbecue?"" Her: ""What barbecue?"" Me: ""The one where I stick my meat on your grill."""

"My daughter kept begging me to get her a new toy, so I went to a store and got a bunch of lego for her To this day, I am surprised that the store accepts kids as payment"

"Q: Why did the belt get locked up? A: He held up a pair of pants."

"Backseat drivers are the worst. They're always like ""the light is red!"" and ""don't text and drive!"" and ""oh god, I think that was a person!"""

"Why is it bad to mix Islam and Hinduism? Because you might get Sikh"