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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the constipated mathmatician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"When my pet goldfish died my parents thought it would be a great idea to replace it with a hamster... Poor little guy drowned in seconds.."

"I finally got my TV show commissioned by the BBC. Its where we film inside the cockpit of an airplane. Were filming the pilot next week."

"A young burn victim gets new eyelids made from his foreskin! Doctors say he will be a little cockeyed."

"I had a joke about Jonestown, But the punchline was too long."

"I don't need stress management, I just need less stress to manage."

"jokes about unemployed people aren't funny They just don't work..."

"Are you an exception? I bet I can catch you."

"Why shouldn't you tell secrets when a clock is around? Because time will tell."

"Boss: I'm following you on Twitter. Me: Sweet! 'Nother follower! [Days later] Me: Oh wait. Shit."