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Joke of the Day

"A young burn victim gets new eyelids made from his foreskin! Doctors say he will be a little cockeyed."

"Internet Explorer: so about last night Me: Oh, i used you for flash. IE: Are we back together, am i your default? Me: don't make this weird"

"What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? One looks up your family tree, the other looks up your family bush."

"What did the prostitute say to the leper? Thanks for the tip."

"Sexy is being tickled with a feather... Kinky is being tickled with a chicken"

"*amasses epic army of stoners but we do nothing because epic army of stoners*"

"Just met a guy.Omg he was so fit! Just met a guy.Omg he was so fit. Handsome even. Never will I met a guy like him again. Caring. Emotional. Nice. And his name was the first letter of each sentence"

"How do people not know how to say their ABC's backwards. It's 3 fucking letters."

"Did you hear about the new Italian tires? Dago here, dago there, and when dago flat, dago wop wop wop."

"Last night I wrote myself a letter. But I forgot to sign it and now I don't know who it's from."