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Joke of the Day

"A young burn victim gets new eyelids made from his foreskin! Doctors say he will be a little cockeyed."

"What does Gordon Ramsay say when he gets a rash? IT'S FUCKING RAW!"

"When does a Mexican know he's hungry? His asshole stops burning."

"What is empty and spins round and round? A Malaysian Airlines baggage claim."

"What is worse than a dead baby in a garbage bag? A dead baby in two garbage bags."

"There will be only 7 planets left After I destroy Uranus"

"Scientist: We've successfully taught a dog Morse code! Dog: [taps paw] Me: What did it say?? Scientist: ""Woof."""

"Open bar at my funeral; just because I'm dead doesn't mean I forgot how to fucking party."

"Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone. "

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *SLURP*"