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Joke of the Day

"Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that."

"I went to a sandwich shop and ordered a pastrami sandwich, but I received a meatball marinara. Whoops, wrong sub"

"Q. What do you call a Mexican vegan? A. No Whey Jose"

"Whats a motivational word for a gopher? Gopher' it."

"How do you get stuck in an annoying conversation with a stranger? Ask someone vaping if you can bum a cigarette."

"I have a friend. He keeps trying to convince me he's a compulsive liar, but I don't believe him."

"No bullshit, if any color is unemployed, its maroon"

"A spider crawled on my son's hand today. I did what any father would do. I mean, Luke Skywalker seems like a productive member of society."

"Yelling ""YOU MONSTER!"" after someone farts in a public bathroom feels pretty great."

"What did trump say to hillary after the debate? WRONG! and hillary replied : he is a lier and he cannot be trusted"