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Joke of the Day

"A spider crawled on my son's hand today. I did what any father would do. I mean, Luke Skywalker seems like a productive member of society."

"Did you know John Denver had dandruff? Yeah, after his plane went down they found his Head and Shoulders washed up on a beach."

"David was hard at work... it was really quite awkward for his coworkers."

"What are pillowy breasts made of? mammary foam"

"I try to stop making jokes about boomerangs. But they just keep coming back at me."

"Hey girl, are you a derivative function? Cuz I wanna be tangent to your curves."

"How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 3/5"

"Q: How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf? A: Depends on how many were photographed."

"I fell off a 50 foot ladder yesterday. Luckily I was on the bottom step."

"How does Kendall Jenner celebrate Father's Day? She doesn't."