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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you place a Russian leader on a cracker? Putin on the Ritz."
Next Joke
"Spiders always act like they know some big secret but they don't know shit."
"You wanna know who sounds like an owl?"
"*Buys map of world, pins up on wall* *Swears to visit wherever it lands* *Aims dart* Map: I have a boyfriend"
"What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaaaaaay"
"How did the woman feel after her legs were amputated? Defeeted"
"What should you do when you are cold? Stand in a corner, corners are 90 degrees"
"4yo: Can I have some more Easter candy? Me: After lunch 4yo: I want lunch right now. I'm starving!! Me: We just ate breakfast 4yo: Starving!"
"What is a boxer's favorite meal? Break-fist"
"When your phone is wet, put it in a bag of rice ...the rice will attract Asians, and they will proceed to fix your phone."