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Joke of the Day
"What did the cat... Say to the person? Nothing, because cats don't speak."
Next Joke
"What they dont tell you, is that your sheets are actually made of Egyptians and Cotton."
"""I've got cat-like T-Rexes"" Don't you mean cat-like reflexes? *Tyrannosaurus pounces on you*"
"What do you call an Arnold Palmer with vodka? A John Daly"
"It's the 21st century, people. Why in the world do we still have mornings?"
"What do two Wrights make? A plane"
"A quote from the Father of Invention. Hi Invention, I'm Dad."
"I wish someone would challenge me so I could help raise awareness for ice buckets."
"*tattoo parlor* ARTIST: What do you want? ME: Surprise me *He tattoos the word 'hiccup'* ME: Why did y- ARTIST: BOO! *the tattoo disappears*"
"If you ask your hair dresser for the Zooey Deschanel... You're really just getting more bang for your buck."