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Joke of the Day

"The advantage of using a nailcutter is, you won't get scratchmark on your forehead skin and the disadvantage is, you can't peel off garlic skin."

"My black friend asked me if there was a coloured printer today in the library.. I said ""Dude, what the fuck? It's 2015, you can use whatever printer you want."""

"if ur in a bad mood & somone says ""have a good day"" the best response is to yell ""HEY EVRYONE THIS DUDES HANDING OUT GOOD DAYS COME GET ONE"""

"Columbus: SO THIS IS INDIA Natives: actually it's no- C: HI INDIANS N: no see, we are nowhere near- C: INDIA IS FUN LETS EAT YOUR FOOD"

"Has anyone said 'Julia Roberts makes me feel like I don't have enough teeth'? Because I'd like to say that."

"Ten things men know about women (Strong language) 1) They have pussies 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) 9) 10) They have breasts too"

"Don't blame me for your issues. Your seat on the crazy train was reserved long before you met me."

"I saw a sign today about lost cat Missing cat: Wanted dead and alive If found return to Schrodinger"

"I used to have a friend named Frank... Until one day I asked him: ""Can I be Frank with you?"" Now I no longer have a friend named Frank."

"What do you call a crazy chicken ? A cuckoo cluck !"