86431

Joke of the Day

"Columbus: SO THIS IS INDIA Natives: actually it's no- C: HI INDIANS N: no see, we are nowhere near- C: INDIA IS FUN LETS EAT YOUR FOOD"

"I saw my ex getting jumped at a party 3 people started beating her up, so I decided to help out...that bitch didn't stand a chance against the 4 of us."

"I've never once been able to explain my car trouble to a mechanic without resorting to sound effects."

"TIL of an incident during the Cold War when American ships, fearing a Soviet attack, nearly fired on a friendly vessel. Whoops, wrong sub."

"If the number 666 is considered evil ..is 25.8069758 the root of all evil? Edit: My first gold! Thank you kind stranger."

"If you are the winner of Friday's $500 million Mega Millions jackpot can receive the winnings in one lump sum, yearly installments, or one tank of gas."

"[job interview] ""So what are your goals for working here?"" To be home by 5"

"Having anal sex in the splits... A hole body stretch."

"What's the name of A support group for transgender superheroes? The Ex Men."

"Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms."