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Joke of the Day

"Has anyone said 'Julia Roberts makes me feel like I don't have enough teeth'? Because I'd like to say that."

"They should make erasers for Crayons called ""Crayoffs""."

"Where do calculus students go when they are sick? To L'Hopital."

"Dear rock bands, If I am at your show, assume I am both ready and willing to rock. No need to ask."

"mailman: ahhh nothing quite like returning home from a long day delivering m- [gets attacked by his own dog]"

"[my first cutaway on The Bachelorette] I can eat more roses than any of these guys"

"What should we call it when a man is beautiful? ""Footseveral?"" No but I feel like you're on the right track"

"Did you hear about the newly-released Michael Jackson autobiography? It's called ""The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing."""

"I don't get this joke. Can someone explain it to me? My sister's fiance is so short that he has trouble playing computer games. The only way he can reach the keyboard is if he lies flat on the ground."

"When confronted, people in wheelchairs never seem to stand up for themselves."