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Joke of the Day

"Great, I clicked on ""Start Your Free Trial"" and now I'm convicted of murder."

"I've been winning egg hunts since before I was even born."

"What's the opposite of the constitution? The prostitution."

"What do you call a bunch of gay guys in a bowl for breakfast? Queerios"

"Did you know that all milk has to be sterilized before use? Prepasteurous!"

"Ways To Win My Heart: 1) Be smoking hot 2) Be thin 3) Be a pig 4) Be bacon"

"Yeah food is good but idk I guess I just always wanted to be able to devour souls as well"

"Why can't Michael Jackson drive backwards in a car? Cause he's dead."

"TIFU... I could've had a V8"

"Where's the best place to weigh a pie? [*singing*] Some-where over the rain-bow... Weigh a pie."