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Joke of the Day

"TIFU... I could've had a V8"

"I got new neighbors today, I hope they like my music as much as the last 9 families did."

"Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? I would too if my name was NUYHAIMONBARG"

"How much did Adidas spend in advertising at the World Cup this year? At least a brazillion dollars..."

"""Where's Waldo?"" books become more thrilling if you think ""Okay... Waldo's my brother and he's off his meds and will die if I don't find him."""

"[unzips fannypack filled with jellybeans and some fall out] Dammit [bends over to pick them up and the rest spill out] DAMMIT"

"My grandma bought my grandpa a new pair of pants. When she asked how they fit, he responded ""like a cheap castle. There's no ball room."""

"How Does Moses Make His Tea? Hebrews it"

"What did the visually-challenged gentleman say as he walked past the tuna stand at the open air market on a hot summer's day? Hello ladies. Warm enough for you?"

"Two nudists philosophers were sitting around when one of them asked the other, ""Have you read Marx?"" The other one replied ""Yes, I think it's the wicker furniture""."