154253

Joke of the Day

"Yo Mama so fat when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone"

"me: What? A lot of people launch shopping carts across parking lots wife: Yeah but they take the kid out first! son *screaming*"

"Sometimes i get scared robots are going to take over. Then i use a motion-controlled sink."

"It's funny how dogs can lick their own balls... it's so hard for me to do that, they start barking at me before i get anywhere near them."

"*E=mcHammer *when E is a constant variable that can't be touched"

"A magnet walks into a bar...., what does he order? Nothing... he's still stuck to the entrance."

"Does your train of thought have a caboose?"

"I paid 4 the lady in front of me @ Starbucks. She hugged me. Deciding when it's the right time 2 tell her I hit her car in the parking lot."

"What do you call a witch who only eats sand? Malnourished."

"What did the shirt say to the pants zipper? Your so fly man"