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Joke of the Day

"I paid 4 the lady in front of me @ Starbucks. She hugged me. Deciding when it's the right time 2 tell her I hit her car in the parking lot."

Next Joke
 
"I don't believe my friend's story about the time he fit a whole watermelon up his ass. It's just too much of a stretch."
"Did you hear about the blond who got pregnant? She wasn't sure if the baby was hers!"
"The teacher asks her 6th graders: ""Can anyone tell me the definition of relative humidity?"" Johnny: ""The sweat on your balls when you're fucking your cousin!"""
"I don't go to the circus. Not because I'm scared of clowns, but because I'm scared of people who go to the circus."
"Drinking Bud Light is like having sex in a canoe... Its fucking close to water."
"If at first you don't succeed, you're assembling furniture from IKEA."
"I gave some Adderall to my Ford Fiesta... it's now a Ford Focus."
"Best Hitler Joke That I've Heard Me: ""Hitler Killed 5 million Jews and a Penguin."" Friend: ""What? A Penguin?"" Me: ""See, no one wants to know about the Jews."""
"What has four legs and goes ""Oom! Oom!""? A cow walking backwards!"