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Joke of the Day

"Bread is not emotionally mature enough to have threesomes When you spread your nuts all over one slice, the other gets jelly."

"I once met a man from Nantucket... I don't know the rest, so fuck it."

"What's a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe."

"When Yuri Gagarin was a kid, he dreamt to be the first one in outer space ... ... but some bitches beat him to it."

"I wrote a song about tortillas. Actually, it's more of a rap."

"I just fake-went-to-the-bathroom to avoid someone. He followed me in. I don't think the pee noises I'm making with my mouth are working."

"What do you call it if a white person robs you? Capitalism"

"What is the most important thing for a hungry shark? A-fish-in-sea."

"Question: How many men does it take to mop the floor? Answer: None it's a women's job."

"Guys love legs. Women, if you can grow more legs that would be a major turn on"