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Joke of the Day

"I wrote a song about tortillas. Actually, it's more of a rap."

"The REAL 5 second rule? If you can get to it before the dog, it's yours."

"Why do the Japanese have squinty eyes? Becuase atomic bombs are bright."

"What is big and red and rolls over in the snow? Santa Claus hit in the balls!"

"[Scene: Cloud City. Two men fight each other with lightsabers] Mario: You-a kill my father! Wario: No. I am-a your father. Mario: Mama-mia!"

"Greek mythology in 3 words Zeus got horny"

"The funniest part of being put under with nitrous at the dentist is getting home to find your underwear on backwards."

"Abortions occur when the Stork is flying over a ravine, gets tired of carrying things and says ""Fuck this."""

"#feelthebern As a Jew I'm not sure Bernie is allowed to say that"

"Mecca should turn into a transformer in the next transformer movie They'll name it Meccatron"