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Joke of the Day

"It's never easy to look at someone and tell them 'That thing we both felt, that thing you saw inside of me, it just isn't there anymore'... Especially when its your obstetrician!"

"""Instead of a 58 year old woman, I wanna look like a 28 year old shiny iguana"" - Plastic Surgery"

"i wish humans were as excited to meet each other as dogs"

"[Game of Thrones] What happens if Ramsay Bolton met Samwell Tarly's girlfriend? Gilly suit"

"In our fridge there is condensed milk, evaporated milk, vanilla and eggs. So I put a sticker on it saying, ""Warning: Highly Flannable."""

"Did you hear about the protests going on outside of Madison Square Garden? Everyone was yelling ""Hands up, Don't Shoot"" but J.R. Smith and Carmelo Anthony just wouldn't listen."

"RaidTM: For when you don't want to kill ants, but want to make them late for something."

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna fish, and a pot of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna. ... What about the pot of glue? I knew you'd get stuck."

"What do you call closet Purge ?"

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... Ba-dum-tiss "