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Joke of the Day

"*robbers burst into bank* EVERYONE PUT YOUR HANDS UPDOG *bank manager frowns* What's updog? WE'RE ROBBING THIS BANK WHAT'S UP WITH YOU"

"Taliban Airways We make sure your flight is a blast."

"PSYCHATRIST: wat do u see ME: a rorschach test PSYCHATRIST: and this one? ME: a inkblot used to test my psyche PSYCHATRIST: (starts sweatig)"

"How many Brazilian national football players does it take to change a lightbulb? No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away."

"How do you greet a gay Hispanic? Homo Estas!"

"My girlfriend makes me want to become a better person. So I can get a better girlfriend."

"What's the difference... What's the difference between a bowling ball and menstrual blood clots? You can't gargle a bowling ball."

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."

"So then, the rhino looked at the elephant and said ""What about the weasel?"" That's the punchline. Comment with the lead up and may the best one win."

"Helpful advice for travellers: If you are going to get on a commercial flight take a bomb with you. BECAUSE: What are the odds of TWO guys being on the SAME PLANE at the SAME TIME with a bomb?"