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Joke of the Day

"I don't want this month to end because the puppy on my calendar is extra cute."

"Why did the paraplegic man cross the road? He couldn't"

"Why did the book critic give The Road a bad review? Too many plot holes."

"You look like the type of person who would try to write a check for a drug deal."

"There's a reason why baseball is America's favorite pastime. It's way past it's time of being relevant."

"I found out where babies come from and it's fucking gross you guys."

"Saying you like a lot of meat in your taco is received differently on Twitter than it is on Facebook. I know that now."

"How many moms does it take to change a light bulb ... None, they get you to do it.. Sucker!"

"It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians."

"""GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"" ""Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"" ""Oh rad bring it in"""